Tag: women

The Hostile World for Women


Pic: source
 
The men among you might be able to relate to this.
 
Think of the last time you attended a conference or had to commute for a duration of over 30 minutes. And rather than drive or take a bus or train, you Uber or Ola it there and back.
 
How often might you have dozed off in the cab?
 
I have on plenty of occasions.
 
Doing so is probably not too safe even for us men. But you can relate to this scenario. Unless you are on a call or browsing, or chatting with the driver; there’s a good chance you’ve been generally sleepy. Even more so if it is sunny or gloomy outside, making it a struggle to keep awake in the cab.
 
We do wake up refreshed though; ready for whatever tasks await us.
 
Now, imagine those same instances as a woman.
One would imagine it is far more unsafe for her. Which means she needs to resist that overwhelming nap in the cab that we men would struggle to resist.
 
Imagine an hour or more of commuting. Imagine needing to stay awake, only because you are a woman. Only because the world remains disproportionately more unsafe for you.
 
During engineering, I used to have a little over an hour of commuting each, to and from college. A 5-minute local bus ride for about 2 kilometers, and then an hour on an express bus flying for a good part on a national highway.
 
One afternoon, when getting back from college, I remember being sleepier than usual. So I dozed off for a while. After getting off at my stop, and getting into the local bus, I sat on an aisle seat on the left. Next to me on the window seat was an elderly man.
 
Still drowsy, I nodded off, and my head unintentionally bobbed off this old man’s shoulder. Awoken by the jolt, without looking up, I apologized to this person. Still struggling to stay awake, I nodded off again.
 
And again, along the twisty roads, my head hit his shoulder. Again, with eyes half open, I apologized, before opening my eyes wide open to try and stay awake. But before I knew it, I had drifted off, only to wake up after the next jolt between head and shoulder. 😛
 
I wondered how come this old man was so tolerant of this invasion of his space. As I turned to apologize, I realized he was fast asleep too, head bobbing slightly with the movement of the bus.
 
It is a different situation if a a woman is sitting beside another woman in public transport. But otherwise, this lowering of one’s guard and allowing oneself a few zzz’s in the face of exhaustion is an improbable scenario for most women. She would not feel safe to allow herself to catch a few zzz’s. Even on the most scorching afternoons on a bus filled with strangers she is instinctively programmed to be alert about.
 
In a generally hostile world, imagine the toll this resisting of sleep, or the need to be on alert all the time, puts on the average woman’s attentional space.
 
Now imagine how making the world safer, could do wonders to the attentional space of millions of women.
 
An attempt to create a safer world has many dimensions to it.
From educating us men from childhood, to creating safe environments and neighbourhoods. And creating less-taxing processes and experiences.
 
Indian queues have been something of an amusement for decades. How we generally struggle to create straight lines, but would rather flock over a counter. That experience for most of us men, though mildly stressful, is only one of ensuring no one cuts the queue before you.
 
For a woman, it is a far more horrifying experience. It often is about having strange men far too close in her personal space. She is not just concerned about losing a few spots in queue. Her mind is most likely in a state of high alert. Scared she might be pushed off balance, or touched, or pick-pocketed. Not a pleasant state for anyone to be in.
 
A lot of us have either mentioned or found amusing, how women go to the loo in pairs or groups. There are those of us who only need to slide down a zipper and go. We can never fully understand the challenge a poorly lit toilet or approach presents to a woman. Nor the lack of a hook for a purse, an empty toilet paper roll, or a working latch on the door presents to a woman.
Pic: source
 
Years ago, as a male teen growing up in India, I have done my share of urinating in public. Not exactly in public, but say into a field on the side of a highway and such. Not proud of it. In fact over the years, I’ve been increasingly ashamed of it.

Many years ago as a student, I was on a bus traveling between two states. The bus stopped in a small town, and many of us passengers stepped out to relive ourselves. On one edge of the bus stand, beyond an open gate, was a swamp.

Since there were far more people than toilets, and given the short duration of the stop, the teenage me headed toward the swamp. A few elders standing along the path to the swamp figured the obvious reason I was headed there. In an animated manner, they seemed to caution me using a word in the language of the state. They kept repeating it. I was familiar with the word. In my limited vocabulary, it meant swamp or small water body or something. I smiled and waved them a friendly ‘don’t worry about it’ and walked past, stood on the edge of the swamp and got to it.

During the rest of the journey, the word of caution from those villagers kept playing in my head. That’s when realization hit that there also exists an almost identical, phonetically slightly different word in the same language. One that translated to water snake! So much for risky relieving business.

But unlike that incident, even the most normal seeming public toilets (including the ones at malls) can seem equally daunting for women. From lights not working, to male staff being assigned to clean them, it is no less scary than the risk of those water snakes.

Imagine the world of a difference between someone able to relieve oneself when necessary; to someone needing to hold it in till she gets to a more accommodating place.
 
Now imagine how making the world safer and being considerate and thoughtful, could do wonders to the lives of millions of women.
 
Educate. Be considerate. Design safer and more thoughtful spaces and processes.
Pic: source
 
#women #safety #AttentionalSpace #design #DesignThoughtfully #processes

Women Drivers

Women Drivers

“You said a bad driver was only safe until she met another bad driver? Well, I met another bad driver, didn’t I?”

– Jordan, in The Great Gatsby

The hype around Women’s Day is finally done for this year.

And speaking of women, their driving skills has often triggered many an animated debate. Driving slow, cutting dangerously, not indicating, playing with her hair, pouting her lips, or making calls while driving. You get the point.

a.aaa-aaaa-woman-driver

Image: source

Now while it’s easy for us guys to grumble about it, in the hope of finding a logical reason behind it, I once tried looking it up online. I came across some interesting research which stated that the average woman (my self-preservation voice shouts ‘no, not all of you!!’), finds it difficult to process the multiple variables involved in driving. That, explains so much, doesn’t it?

Lisa_Kelly_IRT

Lisa Kelly |  Image: source

It doesn’t mean women cannot drive. Of course they can. My cousin sister can drive better than a lot of guys. The sexy Lisa Kelly is a great example of not just a great driver, but also of how women can handle extremely challenging jobs so well. But yes, you ladies could help by avoiding doing anything else while driving.

FPIL_blog-post_Feb13

Image: source

And chaps, now that we know how much tougher it might be for girls to process the driving, and not to say driving, at least here in India is getting any easier; let’s not make it any tougher by terrorizing them with incessant honking, revving of the engine, or questioning hands, etc., whenever we are caught up behind them. Instead, let’s just change lanes and move on. Small efforts like this could help her overcome fears of bullies on the road, and with a little encouragement, who knows, she might just be able to drive way better than you and I ever could.

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The Superior Sex

The Superior Sex

The timing of this post, right after the so-called ‘Women’s day’ is purely coincidental.

For one, I don’t even know what ‘Women’s day’ is supposed to mean. If we ‘full-of-ourselves-men’ don’t have a ‘men’s day’, then except for commercial businesses to make a killing, I don’t get it.

Now, back to the post. I’m going to risk my neck here by stating that, usually (usually, not always!) men tend to be more savvy with machines, electronics and mobile phones, as compared to women. Agree with me on that? Now, I’m not trying to belittle women in any way. But maybe women are very specific about what they want, and they focus on the essentials. They understand those areas about machines or gadgets, without bothering much about ‘what else’ a machine is capable of doing. We men on the other hand, curious as ever, go to great lengths, often breaking and fixing gadgets, just to get answers to ‘why’ or ‘why not’. I have noticed that with things ranging from cars to computers to mobile phones, and so on.

Long story short, there’s something amazing I’ve observed. I’m not sure if it’s a local phenomenon, though I doubt it is. And that is, that despite men being more curious about gadgets, especially in their younger years, sometimes tend to grapple, often disinterestedly, at a later stage in life, with technology. Their wives on the other hand, tend to become more alert and grasp new technology better as they get older. Older men boldly declare cluelessness on the word go. And several older women put in the extra effort to pace up with technology. It could be to serve a bigger purpose, like wanting to FaceTime or Skype with their children away at college, or stay in touch with friends or relatives on WhatsApp for that matter. I find that to be a really impressive trait that I’ve noticed in a lot of older women. Aren’t women way smarter then?

And I don’t think the best operations professionals could organize and schedule processes better than the average homemaker can. If you knew the number of factors they simultaneously keep track of, while making a seamless and hassle-free environment possible for family members, it’s almost unbelievable.

I say let’s march all the housewives to run our industries, and they’ll revive businesses and economies long before you and I can figure our way around the kitchen.

So I think we blokes should have one day as ‘men’s day’, and let women have the remaining days. They definitely deserve it.

insight

Insight by Helenka

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Respect Women

Respect Women

Is it really that difficult to see, or am I missing something?

19 rapes have taken place in a span of one month in Haryana. I simply cannot wrap my head around the supposed solution doing the rounds, where people are considering lowering the marriageable age for girls to 15-16 years. Are we as Indians in general, or those wise Haryanvis in particular, playing dumb, or simply being indifferent? Haven’t there been cases of married women being raped in several parts of the country as well? So how the hell does reducing the marriageable age become a solution? That would be akin to addressing a food shortage problem by asking everyone to stop eating.

And the spineless attitude of law enforcers and politicians alike is only encouraging more such crimes. Where instead of punishing wrong-doers, they are considering punishing the ones who stands at risk, the ones who have been wronged.

I firmly believe that education is the solution. That, of course, combined with strict laws.

There are so many liberties and luxuries we take for granted in India. In Pakistan, a 14 year old girl is willing to lay her life on the line, and why? Just because she wants to learn. And some lowlifes have the sickness in them to pull the trigger on her.

But even that does not frighten her. She still wants to learn. And yet we, an educated society, behave like animals when it comes to respecting women, and act in such a helpless manner when it comes to protecting our citizens. So what is it that we are afraid of?

I think it is time we stop being dependent on crippled law enforcers and politicians, who’re too busy with their thumbs up their collective butts. Let us try to make our own neighbourhoods, cities and towns safer. Let us ourselves create the safer society that we want to live in.

And most importantly, let us educate. Educate our colleagues, friends, acquaintances even. Let us correct people who might harbor disrespect at any level towards women. Let us become more alert, more responsible, and more respectful when it comes to the women in our country. Be it for women we know, or for complete strangers. Let us look out for them and make them feel safer. We owe it to them. After all, none of us would be around right now, were it not for the ‘woman’ who gave birth to us.

Here’s a small something I had tried sometime back [Link: Spread a Message]. If you feel you have workable ideas or suggestions, I’d love to hear from you. It’ll be even better if we could discuss (over coffee, via email or any which way that works for you) and see if we can come up with a workable & easily replicable solution. You can reach me at shrutinshetty@gmail.com, or on Twitter @shrutinshetty. 

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